in mijn hoofd

This series of self-portraits are about living with Gilles de la Tourette syndrome and chronic depression, in which Anniek expresses herself through self-portraits and transforms her personal feelings, anxiety, pain and thoughts into visuals.

“At a young age I began to suffer from complaints that led to being diagnosed with Gilles de la Tourette syndrome and on top of that I was diagnosed with chronic depression.

My depression generally comes in periods where I slowly sink into my feelings and when I prefer to withdraw from everything and everyone. Horrible feelings come across my mind and I don’t know where they come from.”


“ever felt like you were trapped
inside a particular feeling
and nothing can help
until time takes this feeling away”

“they say go outside
take a walk
so you can forget
and let go”

“when you’re so tired
you sleep most of the hours
you feel confused
when you wake up
and see there is no day left
to be living your life”

“when the pain
fade away
your body”

“i will not sleep
until my mind is overfilled
with unbearable thoughts
i will go crazy
i’m in over my head
until i fall asleep”

© Copyright Anniek Beije 2023