in mijn hoofd (in my head)
This chemical manipulation series shows visuals from the series ‘inside my head’ (series of self-portraits about living with chronic depression) and while the photo is still developing the chemicals are being messed with by hand. “Damaging” the image with water and or other products to enhance the feelings and emotions.
“Sometimes I feel so broken. Ruined. Like it’s not going to get any better. The many setbacks have ruined me. Yet I always get up again to make another attempt at life. To take better care of myself. But still, like today, I suddenly got that slap in the face again. So hard. The impeccable sense of fear, depression and panic. I think I did a little too much this week. Asked too much of myself. That balance. The balance that I can never really get right. I want so much. But I don’t know how to make it happen. Maybe tomorrow. When it’s a new day.”